Hidden Feelings
by DemonicXaliv
Summary: She has to keep her feelings under control. She must accept that they can't be together, she must accept that speaking her feelings and showing them will ruin them both.  SmokerTashigi
1. Chap 1

Tashigi exits her room and sees her captain once against sitting on the deck by the table with two cups and a coffee pot. She count count how many times she has seen him sitting there looking at the WANTED posters of Monkey D. Luffy or Roranora Zoro. She went over sitting down in the chair next to his seeing the second cup, her cup, was already full with hot coffee. She picks up the cup and places the edge to her lips tipping it slightly so the warm bitter liquid can enter her mouth htrough her slightly parted lips and make it's way down her throat. She shallows liquid letting it warm her body.

She removes the cup from her lips and sets it on the table infront of her. From the corner of her eye she can see her captain with his jacket or shirt and looking annoyed as ever. "Hina as well as our bosses are coming to force the promotions on us." he said answering her unspoken question.

"We refuse then we don't deserve them. Mainly me." She said looking way once again feeling assamed for the escape of the Straw Hat crew.

"Forget it. I told you to forget about." He said sternly.

"Yes, sir" She said. She quickly took another sip of coffee before standing again. "I think I need to rest more, sir." She said.

"Fine I'll wake you if needed." He said and waved her off.

She went all the way back to the door and shut it behind her then fell to her knees. 'Why?! WHY?!?! I can't have these feelings!! So why am I cursed with them?!?!' Her mind screamed as she staggered to her bed with tears falling from her face. She fell on her bed laying her head on the pillow and burying her face in the mound letting her tears be soaked in the cotton pillow case and stuffing. Untill she drifted to sleep.

* * *

"I said I won't take it and neither will Tashigi!!!" Was the yelled that broke Tashigi from her sleep and she sat up in a jolt. She went to the door immediatly and opened it. She saw Captain Chaser standing not too far from her door and Hina. She watched unnoticed by her captain with his back turned to her, but Hina's eyes moved to her. 

"Is that what your admiral is crying over?" She said slyly and Smoker's head turned to look behind him at his admiral who's eyes were rim with red and puffy. Then he turned back to Hina glaring at her.

"Don't get involed. And I still don't want that promotion!!" He yelled and turned his body and walked up to Tashigi grabbing his arm as he pulled her to her room and inside closing the door behind them. He didn't bother saying anything as he let go of her arm and walked to her bed looking down at the tear soaked pillow with disgust. "Why were you crying?" he asked.

"No reason sir." She lied and saw Smoker pick up the pillow and slam it into a wall.

"If there is no reason you would not have been crying Tashigi." He said looking over at her.

"I can't tell you."

"Why?"

"I can't."

"What is it?"

"I said I can't tell you."

"I order you to tell me why you were crying!" He yelled.

She snapped.

"I was crying because I LOVE YOU!!" She yelled back tears once again stained her pale face and she quickly ran out the door before her captain could have any chance to resopond. She ran past Hina, the crew, and kept running until she had deep into the forest of the island they had stopped at for awhile to resuplly at the small town. No one went into the forest though because to the wild animals and suspision of the forest being cursed. She didn't care.

"Stupid!!" She yelled at herself and lift the sleeve of her shirt to show her forearm with many scratches and gashes running across them. None of them had come across her arm in battle. One scar for each time she thought something she shouldn't have about her caption. The scars covered the skin some begining to heal and a few almost completly gone. She pulled out a small hidden dragger and dug it into her skin tightly and running it horizontally over arm letting the blood that slipped from her cut mix with the tears dropping down her face.

She laid against the tree and let the blood pour from her arm. She hadn't realized she had cut too deep until her vision started going black. Then she couldn't do anything as she dropped unconious.

* * *

Smoker was frozen where he stood. Hina had walked inside the room and was looking expecially happy about his lose for words. "Some thing wrong?" She asked smirking. 

"Shut up" Smoker said glaring over at her. "I don't have time for you." He said annoyed walking out. He needed to find Tashigi. He NEEDED to find Tashigi. He made it to the solid ground of the island and looked around. _'She wouldn't be anywhere in town. She would want to be alone, so she would have gone to the forest.'_ Smoker thought taking his guess and walking foreward into the forest.

He could only hope she would be there,...alive.

* * *

My first SmokerTashigi fic. They might be a little OCC, but I think there still sort of on track of what they should be. Anyway the next chapter will come as soon as I'm able to finish this will only be two chapters so far in my head, but if I decide to add anything then it'll be more.


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

He ran through the forest trying to find his admeral, but so far had seen no sight of her. He stopped for a bit to rest panting he looked down at the ground and noticed blood flowing down the small slope of the path. He followed it thinking the worest possible things that could have made that blood and whom or what it had come from. 

When he saw the sight of his bleeding unconious admeral his eyes nearly wanted to pop out of his head. He saw his arm was covered with mutiple scars meaning she had cut herself more than once. For a mere secound he wondered why she had done this to herself, but her screaming words came back to his head, _'I LOVE YOU!!'_ He already knew the reason, it was him.

He ripped a part of his shirt and wrapped it around the bleeding cut in her arm. He then wrapped one arm under her knees and the other on her back and lifted her from the ground holding her in a bridal style fashion exsept she wasn't a bride and he wasn't a groom. She was an admeral and he was a captain realtion of the two is only to be duty nothing more, you weren't alloud to have any realtionship more than what those to words stood for. Captain gave the orders and the admeral was to follow.

He carried her from the spot finding his way back to the small docks in the village. The familiar scowl on his face showed again as he glared at the boats around his ship. His supiors had come and he was to take the promotion. Didn't he have enough problem with making sure Tashigi lived. He got to his ship seeing the supior officers had already arrived and were talking with Hina.

"Oh Smoker so nice of you to join us?" One of the supiors said.

"Sorry, sir. I'm busy if you can't see my admeral is bleeding to death in my arms." He said trying his best to sound respectful, but couldn't help the sarcasticness in his tone. He walked away from them and went below deck to the infirmary and place Tashigi on the bed. The doctor of the ship came over immediatly to treat her.

Smoker sat in a chair and watched the doctor work. He started to stare at Tashigi soon enough started running through his mind unconiously on what would make her look alot better, _'Short sleeve or no sleeve shirts, new glasses with a small frame, and no baggy shirts either.'_ those were the ideas he came up with and he could pretty much picture Tashigi standing with a medium size pair of glasses with smaller frames, a tight black sleevless shirt clinging to hidden curves and breats over that her normal jacket unbuttoned and her normal jeans and sword.

"Captain Chaser?" The doctor said snapping him out of thought.

"What?" He asked looking to them being firm and cold like he was to the rest of the crew.

_**'Exsept for with Tashigi'**_ Something in the back of his head said.

"I've managed to stop the bleeding and I have her blood type so were adding it into her system now. She's going to live, so maybe you should go back on deck and tell them-" the doctor cut off when Smoker started glaring at him sharply.

"No, you'll go up there tell them I don't want their promotion and don't come back unless I call for you." Smoker ordered.

The doctor quickly nodded and fled not wanting to anger the captain.

Smoker got to his feet and moved to the chair the doctor was sitting at next to Tashigi. She was asleep, but the look on her face said she was in a nightmare. He slowly reached out and placed his hand over her's and watched as she calmed her expression light and calm. He gave a sigh feeling really tired and just laid his head on the side of the bed and left his hand over her's.

* * *

Tashigi woke up and she was in a bed? She looked at the ceiling and then the wall on her right next to the bed. She was on the ship? It still puzzled her on quite a few things. One, how did she get here? Two, why was she not dead? And three, what was the warmth on her hand? 

She looked at the said hand and saw her Captian, Captain Chaser, was asleep and holding her hand. The mere though made her cheeks burn. She had gotten her answers to the questions she wanted. She got here because Chaser had come and brought her here. She wasn't dead because Chaser had come and saved her. The warmth on her hand was because he was touching it.

She starred at his face, she wondered how he could look so peaceful in his sleep, but anytime he was awake he would who always look angry and cruel. She was about to come up of the possiblities on why it happened when she saw his eyes open and she nearly jumped out of the bed and hit her head on the ceiling if she could accually move cause she just noticed her body felt sore.

"Tashigi," Smoker said looking at his now awake and alive admeral.

"Yes, sir?" She said gulping down that lump in her throat as she remembered the scences from earlier that day. What was he gonna do? Transfer her? Force her to leave the marines? Break her heart? She could only think of the worst to come.

Smoker didn't know what he was doing, but he was going to do it. He didn't know why he was doing it or what was making him to do this, but he did. He stood up from his seat looking down at his admeral. He leaned over her and pressed his lips against her lips. She started to kiss back soon after the small shock. He licked her lip for entrance and she alloud it. He stuck his touge inside her mouth and tasted her. She did the same, but in a more shy manner.

When both were unable to breath any longer they pulled apart. Smoker saw Tashigi in a slight daze. "I'm dreaming,..." She mumbled.

"No your awake." He said

"I have to be dreaming though other wise that would have never happened." She protested.

Smoker kissed her again passionatly and ddin't pull away until he could no longer breathe. "It's not a dream." he said.

"But,...But...then why did that happen?" She asked.

"Because I wanted to, do you have a problem with it admeral?" Smoker asked

"No, sir." She answered quickly.

"Good, I'm going on deck you rest here." He ordered and went back to the deck. He saw each supior and Hina had left and he was at peace once again. He went to his normal seat at the table and sat back looking out at the sea. He had feelings for Tashigi; he just never knew where they were before.

Now that he found them they would remain in their hiding spot. No one was aloud to know about the hiding spot, exsept for Tashigi.

* * *

This was one of my quickest stories that went moe than one chapter. I already have an idea for another SmaokerTashigi, so if you liked this one you might want to read the next one I'm coming out with. 


End file.
